The 2016 contest is now closed


Antonelli's Cheese Shop

Austin, Texas
5 out of 3691 votes (0.1%)
The New Facial. Hannibal's Protege. Eat Me. (Welcoming Captions!)
The New Facial. Hannibal's Protege. Eat Me. (Welcoming Captions!)

Why we’re declaring our independence

“Five score and one months ago Herb and Kathy Eckhouse brought forth on this continent a new Prosciuttificio, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all hogs are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great struggle, testing whether their prosciutto, or any American prosciutto so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure in a world of Spanish and Italian hams. We are met on a great battlefield of that struggle: the charcuterie case of your local cheese shop. We have come to dedicate a portion of that case as a monument to those American hams. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this case. The brave hogs who fill this case, whose hams we here enjoy, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what beautiful and complex flavors these American hams exhibit. It is for us the lovers of American hams, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who have cured these meats have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us- that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom, and that the patrons of this cheese shop shall enjoy the rights of Life, Liberty, and the Prosciutto of happiness.” -Cheesemonger Bradley, June 2013